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(Or, click here if you're one of those people that always clicks "I agree" without reading the stuff)

* Under the ***TELECOM ACT OF 1996***, minor CHILDREN (under the age of 18) may not read or view this site under *ANY* circumstances. If you are under 18, hit the back key NOW. Also, if you are developmentally disabled, irony-impaired, emotionally traumatized, schizophrenic, suffering PMS, affected by Humor Deprivation Syndrome (HDS), or under the care of a doctor, then the TELECOM ACT OF 1996 may apply to you as well, even if you are 18.
If you fall into one of these categories and are not considered competent to judge for yourself what you are reading, click the BACK BUTTON NOW!

* Under the UTAH PROTECTION OF CHILDREN ACT OF 1996, those under the age of 21 may not read this post. All residents of Utah, and Mormons elsewhere, must install the M-Chip.

* Under the PROTECTION OF THE REICH laws, residents of Germany may not read or view this site.

* Under the PROTECTION OF THE YAHOO & EBAY ANTI-REICH laws, residents of France, Germany, Belgium, Austria and now, Italy may not read or view this site (just to be on the safe side).

* Under the MERCIFUL SHIELD OF ALLAH, holy interpretations of the Koran of the following countries (but not limited to this list) you may not view this site if you are a FEMALE OF ANY AGE:
[Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, United Arab Emirates, Qatar, Egypt, Jordan, Sudan, Libya, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Algeria, Lebanon, Morocco, Tunisia, Yemen, Oman, Syria, Bahrain, and the Palestinian Authority]

(Non-female persons may also be barred from viewing this site, depending on the settings of your I-Chip.)

*If you're an Islamic extremist considering an attack against America please click here and turn yourself in. Better yet, just shoot, hang or drown yourself now and save us taxpayers the expense of incarcerating, evaluating & prosecuting you. 

* Under the proposed CHINESE INTERNET laws, covering The People's Republic of China, Formosa, Hong Kong, Macao, Malaysia, and parts of several surrounding territories, the rules are so nebulous and unspecified that I cannot say whether you are allowed to read this. 
Thus, you must SUBMIT any page you wish to read to your local authorities for further filtering.

* In Singapore, merely by COMING TO THIS SITE you have violated the will of Lee Kwan Yu. Report to your local police office to receive your caning.

* Finally, if you are barred from contact with the Internet, or protected by court order from viewing sites which may disturb you, or covered by protective orders, it is up to you to adjust the settings of your V-Chip to ensure that this URL does not function in your browser.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE IN COMPLYING WITH THESE LAWS.

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Enjoy the site.